Aarghh. Story Synopsis. Constructive criticism required please.

ACT 1

'Jimmy the Squeak' (world renowned gentlemouse thief) has been under surveillance from his arch nemesis and Cat Burglar extraordinaire 'Whiskers McGraw'.

After a stake out lasting almost several seconds 'Whiskers' has ascertained the hiding place of 'Jimmy's' stash... the big fish tank in the front window, guarded only by a single unassuming goldfish.

Without further ado 'Whiskers' makes his preparations, intent to break in that very night.

ACT 2

We see a deserted high street (main street) in the dead of night and a made aware of a shadow. the camera follows the small object as it scurries across the street, dashes up a side alley and nimbly hops a fence or two. Leaping on a windowsill, the camera cuts to a close up of an extending claw and we hear the squeal of glass being cut. A second later and our burglar deftly enters the rear of the pet shop, triggering a silent alarm.. our thief uses shadow and their innate agility to proceed to the front of the premises where we see our hero drop to the floor behind the tank. The trap is sprung!!

ACT 3

Okay, this is where it gets a little hazy and I need some assistance..

We see our hero either...

- tied to a chair, spotlight in eyes being sweated down by a certain dastardly mouse.. or..

- strung up about some time related device of his imminent doom.


We see the true nature of 'Jimmy the Squeak' as a maniacal mousechopath...

erm... okay, so I need to get from the trap, to the treasure. It would be nice if I could hamstring both mouse and cat and have the fish come out on top... and I still need to incorporate the helium balloon.

This is easy enough if I can demonstrate a reason to have helium. Perhaps the mouse has voice recognition as a lock on a certain part of the building, the cat needing a higher vocal register to gain access.

Perhaps he brings scuba gear to get to the treasure only to find his air switched with helium.

I can trim down the second act greatly if the trap is sprung as soon as the property is entered which leaves motive, escape and resolution for the latter half of the second and third act.

HELP PLEASE PEOPLE !!!!